all my life
primed to endure
but i’m not gonna take it any more

that’s just the way of the world
why can’t you see?
that boys will be boys
and so ever shall it be

i was always too much of something
to be worthy of love
and not enough of other things
to be worth more than a cursory shove

out of the way
step aside homogenous girl
stand with the other cattle
you don’t matter here

too chubby
too plain
too witty and sharp
a tomboy to boot
and unnaturally dark

not enough pink
and not enough frills
only thing i’d be good for’s
a couple cheap thrills

with the lights off
and on a dare
harass the poor girl
whose self worth is thread bare

beaten down by a world
where superficiality rules
with an iron fist
weilded by blunt tools

but those were just chains
that strangled and pinched
so i’m stripping them off
and saying eff you to the grinch

don’t beleive the words
of small men
who’ve devised a way
to keep you in that restrictive pen

they’ll tell you you’re ugly
though it’s untrue
they’ll fill you with lies
until you’re sad and you’re blue

until the weight of their lies
takes it’s heavy toll
you’ve eaten them up
and its swallowed you whole

all my life
primed to endure
but i’m not gonna take it any more

i no longer believe
in your false tales
i believe in myself
and i’m gonna bail

on your petty bullshit
your mental and physical abuse
your manipulative acts
so bloody obtuse

you can take your sick ichor

i’m shoving it back up your ass
– where it belongs –
with a plastic bottle
of the cheapest liquor

that’s all that anything
you ever said or you did
to keep me in my dark place
is worth – you nasty, nasty pig

in essence it’s worthless
and so the hell are you

i’ve decided to love myself
despite anything and eveything you ever did or will do

i’ve stepped out of the dark
and into the light
where positive rays
have ended my plight

when the burden is lifted
i take to new wing
i feel so fucking light
it’s all i can do not to sing

it’s bubbling up
and rising from within
you can’t keep me down
so why keep it in?

i’m singing out loud
i’m soaring above
i’m belting it out
cus i’ve found myself
and i’ve fallen in love

she’s beautiful
– i hope you see it too –
she’s beautiful

for she is me
and she is you

©2015 Kat Crimson

optional musical accompaniment: The Velvet Underground’s version of ‘I’m Beginning To See The Light’


Kat Crimson is the author of sweet, filthy, intelligent smut. Romantic erotica that slips in under your defenses and arouses your mind as much as your middle bits, pausing to touch your heart along the way. She is a friend to all beasts, an accomplished pastry chef and lover of nature.

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